The Unsuccessful Bootstorm

January 19th 2013

“Olive! Quick! It’s an emergency!”

I looked uP at him from my designated keyboard. At my designated desk. In my designated office building.


My boss was                      over me with sincere desperation. He placed his hands on my desk and hung his head down while he recovered from his mild sprint across the office. And then he said

“Olive! Quick it’s an emergency!”

Startled but up to the urgent task I swiveled my designated chair around to inquire about his sudden distress.

“We need  a tagline. For a billboard. It’s gotta be about boots. KID’S boots. WINTER boots. KID’S WINTER boots. Think of something…cute..something…playful…something…short…SOMETHING…quick. Because this is due in like an hour. I’ll check back in with you then. THANKS!”

I wish I could tell you that in my life as a fashion copywriter, these spontaneous demands were out of the ordinary. That the demand to think of such publicized tag lines were a lengthy process that required months of brainstorming, diligence, and time. But more often than not, they were passed along to a small child named Olive, with a 54 minute deadline and not a brainstorming soul in the vicinity.


Normally. I’d knock these tag lines out of the park. Father’s Day? Cake. Christmas time? Easy Peasy. President’s day? Don’t make me laugh. But this time…this time something came over me. My A-game was nowhere to be found. My condensed time limit and coffee induced mindset were blending together to create a concoction of…absolutely nothing. THINK OLIVE THINK….wait…what if…what if I were to…borrow some ideas…just for a second…just for a billboard…?…Would he notice…would he care? So I made a list. In case you too find yourself needing to craft a spontaneous list of winter tag lines for children’s boots at a moment’s notice, and you too happen to be in a thievery type mood.

26 Suspicious Tag lines for Children’s Boots



1. Ice ice boots

2. Earth. Wind. Fire. Boots.

3. Walkin on walkin on broken boots! – So buy these instead

3. Bills, bills boots

4. Hot cheetos and boots


5. Run Forest Run! (But in these boots)

6. Bootless in Seattle

7. Eat. Pray. Boots.

8. Lord of the boots

9. Harry Boots

10. 50 shade of boots

11. Les Miserboots

12. Phantom of the boots

13. The Jungle boots

14. Jurassic boots

15. Gone with the boots

16. Alice in wonderboots

17. Passion of the boots

Tag lines:

18. Got boots?

19. Live. Laugh. Boots.

20. American runs on boots

21. Obey your boots

22. Yo quiero taco boots

23. Are you in good boots?

24. There’s some things that money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s boots.

25. Ba da ba ba boots! I’m lovin it.

26. Gossip Boots

27. How I met your boots

28. 2 1/2 boots

The way I accidentally ordered my lunch the other day because I was in the zone of my intensive brainstorm.

29. “Hi! Yeah can I have a burger with a side of French boots, please.”

I printed out this list, stapled it together with pride and placed it on the desk of the very man who was chanting the word “boots” at my desk not so long before. Shall report back the results shortly. But don’t be surprised if you see “Yo quiero taco boots” coming to a billboard near you.