The 11 People I Met In Prague

September 19th 2013

Story originally written and experienced: September 4th 2013

I had a violent love affair once.

 With the city of Prague.

Went to Prague. Lost my arms.

Went to Prague. Lost my arms. 


Twas destination 2 of my  Eurotrip, you see and my sister and I were on a passionate endeavor to amp up our class after the unexpected shenanigans that happened at our european stop before –  like informing the locals and non locals of the Czech Republic that:


And I must tell you.

 In this sober pilgrimage of ours.

Encapsulated in one of the most beautiful cities on earth.




We met people.

We met a lot of them

And they were weird as fuck.

And I loved them.

And I’m going to tell you about them now:

The 11 People I Met In Prague


1.  The conversing man with an oriental mannequin strapped to his back

Ethnic and clingy. Just his type.

Ethnic and clingy. Just his type.


2. The hood rat trolling through the neighborhood bridge who attempted to snag my sister with a fishing pole whilst screaming profanities mid swing

Put that stick away.

An unexpected dilemma.


3. This wandering shark who is just great with kids

shark 2

Truly 2 peas in a pod.


4. The topless bagpiper who went rogue by taking an unwarranted solo mid performance from his band


Not your turn bro.


5. This magical donut craftsman who was so good at crafting donuts that I…


I just like…


I mean basically I just…

PB & Jealous

It’s okay to be PB & Jealous



6. This blacked-out bachelor who wandered up to me at the bar. Lifted me out of my chair. And (accidentally) threw me into a wall




7. This positive ray of sunshine




8. This local musician playing what can only be described as a metallic turtle


Get down.

9. This guy going HAM on his mother’s finest crystal glasses

So rowdy right now.

Straight up rowdy.


10. These guys who were playing with each other’s balls for approximately 3 hours




And finally.

11. This dude who goes through extra lengths to protect his family jewels




And there you have it.

An unwarranted collection of the most premium people I stumbled up on in the classy city of Prague. They’re coming over later to check out my mahogany apartment and leather-bound  books. You’re welcome to join. #bringthemetallicturtle