June 11th 2013
Let’s play a game.
There’s something you need to know about me first.
I like to snapchat.
I fuckin LOVE to snapchat.
Alright let’s make this shit quick:
It’s an app where you can send random pics to your friends (and non friends).
Only for 1-10 seconds.What happens after 1-10 seconds?
That shit disappears.
…Unless you SCREEN SHOT that bad boy.
I created a game. With my snap chat buddy list.
A game called “This guy”
“This guy” being a stick figure that makes unexpected, unwarranted appearances into our lives, ready to wreak havoc at any GODDAMN moment.
What do I mean? How does this work? Why do I keep asking questions that I assume you’re asking me as well?
Behold the following collection of screen shots. Screen shots of “This Guy” fucking shit up in my life and my friends’ lives… every GODDAMN day.
The (theoretical) story goes like this:
“This Guy” and I used to be pretty damn good friends.
We used to wine together. Dine together.
Fuckin vacationed together.
But…at some point. Things changed…HE…changed.
And it all started when “This guy” started hangin with the wrong crowd.
And investing in shenanigans like this:
My friend even found him sluttin it up at the local bus stop!
In denial, I tried to defend him to my amigos far and wide. Tell them that, he was…just going through a rough time. And he’d pull the through! This is just a phase, really…it is!
Their feedback was as follows:
So I sent that bastard off to rehab.
Only to find out from the faculty and staff that he was pulling this bullshit:
Olive you need to get down here, he’s taking advantage of our local cats!
Now he’s trying to fly and shit
He’s had reoccurring incidences of snack stealin
Even reported cases of stalking bitches
Even riling up the other patients by talkin smack
So finally I gave up.
Dragged his stick ass out of rehab
And let him roam wild in the streets.
And what a mistake that was…
Fed up with this obscene partying
And unruly behavior
I decided to have an intervention with my dear friend, “guy”. Sit him the fuck down and get to the bottom of his recent shenanigans.
Tell him I was tired of his poor attitude:
And how I missed the days when he used to call me
Now he was just needy
And after copious amount of booze, drugs and cotton candy
Guy finally apologized.
And unexpectedly transformed into a condom