Real Life: How Do I Do It? — Girl Edition

May 2nd 2014

Where do you work?

Do you like it?

Will you be there for a while?

You don’t have a job?

How come?

Have you been applying?

Are you dating anyone?

Why not?

Oh you are?

Are they “the one”?

Have you saved up any money?

Where do you live?

Will you live there for a while?

Do you still talk to people from college?

Which ones?

Are you happy?

You are?

You’re not?

Why not?

Stop the madness.




The only thing more awkward than being a chick.

Is being a chick.

In the real world.

Just makin a livin.

Just makin a livin.

And I’m not talking about billz. Bein single. Or learning how to make a god forsaken soufflé.

Order up.

Order up.


I’m talking about.

The questions.


The ones        up there

You read them.

And they stressed me the fuck out. And they probably stressed you out too.

But only because. You don’t have all the answers.

And you just feel like you damn should. Which is why.

Olive and her insomnia present:

Real Life: How Do I Do It?—Girl Edition

Picture this.

A girl.

Out of college.

Doing out of college, adulthood things.

Sounds about right.

Sounds about right.

But only because…her former self probably wouldn’t freakin fly in the real world:

Cassandra got a little crazy at happy hour. Cassandra.

Cassandra = trying to fly in the real world right now but…not.


So what’s a adult lady to do?

Well. Rumor has it.

A lot of things.

But. A lot of. Different. Things.

And no matter which route you mean to go. Tend to go. Or end up going.

The theoretical timer starts anyway.

Ready. Set.

Find a career.

“Settle down”

Become a wife.

A mother.

A chaperone.

A decision maker.

A household rock.

Then be more.

Much. Much. More.

Wait. Hold on. No.

Do this instead.

Discover yourself.

Be independent.

Be single.

Be free.

An artist.

A business woman.

A military girl.

Do whatever.

Who cares.

Wait. Never mind. Do both. I don’t know. Shit.


The thing about being a chick. In the adult world. Is. The minute you make your epic entrance, you have this  grand spotlight shining on it. Every day. All the time. And more often than not. You’re not the one shining it. It’s the expectation. The idea. And the damn questions that do.

It’s the constant evaluation and reevaluation of how to cram in adventure, mistakes, love, success, ambition, decisions and stability to the absolute maximum before you coast into “a comfortable life.

So naturally you think.

Well fuck.

That’s a lot of shiza to do.

Men to meet.

Tickets to book.

Career moves to make.


I have something interesting to say.

And I think you might like it. Because. I think. If you were to take 5 girls. of them were to abide by the “picture-perfect” formula of a fabulous salary, a  stable relationship and an unparalleled apartment.

I think 3 would be happy.

And only 3.

And the other 2? Wouldn’t.

Because maybe one of those 2 prefers to stay in her hometown. With her family. Friends. And quaint home.

And maybe the other is backpack-bound around the world. Free-spirited and satisfied. Completely aware that the “picture-perfect” formula just isn’t her cup of tea. At least not yet.

Vice versa.

Because the thing is.

The only way to live in the real world the wrong way? Is to be living it in a way that feels less than right.

For you.

And that definition will change. It will. What you want now. Might be the opposite of what you want later. And in the meantime. We sometimes stress out. Because we’re constantly juggling second guesses, unanswered mysteries, or wondering if anything will ever change.


 If they’ll even stay the same.

But hey.

Whether you’re a city girl trying to climb the professional ladder and wondering if you’ll ever really reach the top.

A mom with a baby in her backseat wondering if this…is where it really ends. Or maybe. Begins.

A self-discovering post grad who’s taking some time to travel. and relax. Completely content with just taking your damn time.

 A bohemian artist who lives and breathes on drawing pencils, paint brushes, an instrument or even an exceptionally delicious recipe.

We all feel that inflicted pressure of:

 Being lovely enough to find a companion we can please and be compatible with in a super awesome way.

 “Discovering ourselves.” But making sure not to take too long. Because time is “running out.” You know?

Or rather being told to. “Slow down. Stay young.” What’s the rush. You have the time.

Or maybe. You’re too old for this. You’re too young for that. You need to be doing this. And you shouldn’t be doing that.

And you’re just kind of like.



And I don’t blame you. And I don’t blame me either.

 Because. The real world? And how you do it? Well. It’s already being done. Right now. You’re already doing it. And if you’re happy with it? Cool with it? Excited about it? Not sure about it? But willing to change it?

Then I think you just figured it out.

That you’re already doing it just damn right.

Read the guy edition here.