My Humorous Halloween With The Pope, A Polar Bear & Harry Potter

November 3rd 2015

Story originally written and experienced October 24th 2015 and October 31st 2015

 Never be yourself.

At least not on Halloween.

johstewartboom

 It’s a mantra I’ve abided by for the last 26 years.

Proof.

Proof.

 

 

And I don’t plan on stoppin now.

Proof again.

Proof again.

 

 

I did a lot of things this Halloween.

One involving ridiculously fantastic dogs—a lot of them—at a costume parade just a handful of blocks away from my apartment. At Tomkins Square Park. For pups.

Silvia, Megan and I went:

Yo.

Action shot.

 

Buttoned up our transeasonal coats and visited every canine we possible could:

He was a little crabby...

He was…a little crabby…

 

"His name is Timmy!" ...

“His name is Timmy!” ….

 

Taco to go:

 

The trifecta.

The trifecta.

 

All hail the king.

All hail the king.

 

"Vote for me"

Hair of the dog.

 

Twinning.

“Waldo! I was just looking for you!”

 

A gentleman and a scholar.

A gentleman and a scholar.

 

Every little ting, is gonna be alright.

“Every little ting, IS GONNA BE ALRIGHT.”

 

The mousy type.

The mousy type.

 

PUP FRANCIS!

PUP FRANCIS!

 

Puplo Escobark.

Puplo Escobark.

 

What a lady!

0O0O0O0O0O she’s a lady!

 

They worked it out.

They worked it out.

 

On sail.

She’s on a boat.

 

Something's fishy around here...

Something’s fishy around here…

 

Slut.

Skank.

 

Yeah you heard me.

You heard me.

 

Pizza to go.

Pizza delivery.

 

He quieros taco bell.

Someone’s quieroing Taco Bell.

 

And the sorting hats decides...

And the sorting hat has decided…

 

GRYFFFFINDORRRR!

GRYFFFFINDORRRR!

 

He's a ginger.

He’s a ginger.

 

Chewbacca charge.

Officially on Chewbacca’s territory.

 

Be afraid. Be very, afraid.

Be afraid. Be very, afraid.

 

Say cheese.

Say cheese.

 

Shout out to Gwen Stefani for teaching me how to spell bananana.

Shout out to Gwen Stefani for teaching me how to spell bananana.

 

And a side of bacon.

And a side of bacon.

 

Bow down.

Bow down, bitches.

 

Marrrryyyy had a little la...mby dog type..thing.

Marrrryyyy had a little la…mby dog type..thing.

 

He who shall not be named.

He who shall not be named.

 

Like.

Like.

 

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA BULL DOG!

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA BULL DOG!

 

Yoda, he is.

Yoda, he is.

 

Just happy to be here.

Just happy to be here.

 

But my Halloween absurdness didn’t stop there.

Just one week later.

The celebrations effortlessly continued when Penny Erikson paid me a valiant visit. Dressed as a bear. And destined for debauchery.

Which made 2 of us:

So two bears walk into a bar...

Pawesome times.

 

Our outfit selection for Halloweekend was decided on 3 things:

1. We liked the hats.

2. We liked that the hats were cheap.

3. We liked that the hats were cheap, the hit of the party, passed on to friends and best yet, traded in for other things like:

Whiskey.

unnamed (6)

Doctor’s orders.

 

Stethoscopes.

Getting nosy.

Getting nosy.

 

Spectacles.

When you're unaware you still have face paint on.

I see you, baby.

 

A best bud named Buzz:

She comes in peace.

She comes in peace.

 

And most importantly:

free drugs

It was a double decker weekend of costume and chaos—perfectly in preference—and I have The Pope:
PUP FRANCIS!

PUP FRANCIS!

 

Harry Potter:
Still not over it.

Still not over it.

 

 

This bear:
Apologies for screaming at you on the street and forcing you to take this picture.

Apologies to this stranger for screaming on the street whenst we saw you and forcing you to take this picture with us.

 

 

And a polar bear to thank for that:
Bye!

Bye.