Is This Just A Phase?

September 12th, 2016

Story originally written and experienced: March 26th 2015

It was a circus.


Like so.

At least it felt like it.

Thing is.

Every month one member from my New York City friend group would throw this innovative, unheard-of event called…

“Girls’ night”


Where we’d also pick a (food) theme to obey. And on Thursday, March 25, 2015, Charlie and I decided it was our turn to host and we chose the theme…



Party time.

When the day came we had zero decorations. No costumes. Forgot plates. And our main menu for our VIP guests?

Hot dogs

Corn dogs


Garlic bread


and of course

Ice cream sandwiches.



I remembered this night and I remembered it well.

And it wasn’t (only) because of the copious amounts of bratwursts and store-bought buns we provided.



But also because of this realization I had that I really couldn’t sHakE. I remembered looking around at my   s C a T t e R i N g   of friends and thinking to myself as we were crammed in our teeny tiny






That this was all temporary.

There we were.

Existing in this 200 mph city each taking turns talking about our recent events—One friend telling us she was awarded employee of the year at her company, Leah explaining to us her new life motto of “guac over cock” and Bee announcing she was leaving to be with her long-term long-distance boyfriend in D.C. in the fall—and I knew nights like this, with updates like those, would be a fond memory I’d look back on in my mid-twenties.

Because things were changing. In fact, they already were.

It felt strange to feel that way. Wondering if this place and the friends I saw every day in my life would truly be a fleeting chapter. How much longer would circus-themed “girls’ nights” last before they were phased out by moving friends, new relationships and more enticing activities?

Unpredictable to say.

Because in one way it feels like we have complete control of what carries on. But then again, there’s always the inevitable stuff like city switches and refigured friendships that plot twist the entire operation.

My point is.

Life is infinitely evolving. Even if you stay consistent? Things around you change. So how do we react when normalcies        shift?

It’s something I’ve thought a lot about, and in the end, this is what I believe…because it’s worked so far:

If a chapter in your life is best left a temporary, then kiss it goodbye with the sentiment of learning and endearment…and move on.



If anything staple—people, hobbies, girls’ nights, guys’ nights, etc.—feels entirely too worthwhile.

Keep it.

In some way.

It’s too important.

Even if you’re not in the same city anymore or your schedule has changed, reimagine how to keep those elements in your life alive whether it’s picking up the phone and calling to catch-up or even just calling people back. Set aside Tuesdays to strictly dedicate to your favorite hobby or discover something new. And don’t let the things have proven to be temporarily satisfying stay around longer than they should, and in the same vein, don’t let the things that have proven to be consistently vital get away.

It’s a permanent way to keep the good things good while they last and the greater things always in your grasp.

And that’s a feeling I just can’t sHakE.