Why We’re Infatuated With Valentine’s Day

February 12th 2015

Surprise.

Valentine’s day is BACK and ready to fuckin play.

Yesss Valentine's Day, we know. We got the memo.

Yes yes, Valentine’s Day…we know…

 

Whether you’re the super psyched girlfriend who just can’t fuckin wait.

Goin all out.

Goin all out.

 

The terrified boyfriend who hopes his plans are up to par with his high-quality compliments.

Good enough.

Prince charming alert.

 

Or a single socialite who takes small romantic victories whenever you can get them:

liz-lemon-man-interaction-date-happy-gif

We’ve all got a thing.

No.

An obsession.

NO.

An infatuation.

With this whole damn day.

And I think I know why.

Thing is.

I was sitting on the plane a few days ago.

New York bound >> after a quick trip to Florida.

When at Coconut Jack's...

Retiring like a boss.

 

Life's a beach.

A total beach.

 

Writing and thinking about a lot of things. (shocking)

And Valentine’s Day was one of them.

Same.

Same here, anonymous small child, same here.

 

Maybe it was because I was getting e-mails from followers about a story I wrote a two years ago, outlining painful break ups and having them ask me if it would all be okay (it will be by the way!)

Or.

Maybe it was because every pharmacy, grocery store or quintessential cafe I walked into was a complete eXpLoSiOn of synthetic teddy bears, age-old chocolate and discount pantyhose.

Wonder what holiday is comin up.

Wonder what holiday is comin up.

 

No idea.

No idea.

 

4634air1

Couldn’t tell ya.

 

Or.

Maybe it was because, according to my nifty calendar, this boomerang of a holiday was apparently just around the riverbend.

Like so.

Like so.

 

And as any normal girl, guy, or person with a face that stands witness to stacks of precious presents and pre-packaged pantyhose, I wondered why in the hell we all gave so many damns about this one, fantastically-famous February day.

So I sat in my economy seat. Pulled out a pen. And my tray table too.

And came up with this:

(on a diet coke napkin, compliments of Sherry the fabulous flight attendant.)

valentine's day napkin

Translation:

5 Reasons Why (I think) We’re Infatuated With Valentine’s Day

1. The Pondering Of Past, Present Or Problematic Peeps

(Side note: do people even say the word “peeps” anymore? Is that still a thing outside of demonic easter candy? Whatever. It happened. ONWARD.)

Here’s the thing.

Whether you’ve got someone. Had someone. Or in that awkward limbo that was just so uncomfortably timed:

Yep.

Yep.

 

This damn day forces you to default to one, if not ALL of these passionate peeps. (LET THE WORD HAPPEN)

Makes you think about it. Wonder about it. And gives your mind an extra excuse to place emphasis on someone you concentrate your brain cells on anyway.

Whether it’s a joy, pain or curiosity, the countdown to the day and ON the day causes an internal and infatuating cycle of thoughts ranging from “I remember how things used to be” to “I like this person a whole hell of a lot” to “You. In the corner. You look single and lonely. Let’s celebrate.” all adding up and dividing to a mutual middle-ground feeling of:

funny-giraffe-running-chasing-ostrich-let-me-love-you-animated-gif

K.

 

 

2. A Tricky Test

Calling all men:

This way guys.

This way guys.

 

True.

Chances are good you’re on the phone with a florist on one hand (with a groupon coupon, YOU ANIMAL) whilst typing like a mad man to make fancy schmizancy dinner reservations with the other.

But only because.

You like your lady.

And you want your lady to like you too.

And fantastic news on that front.

Your lady friend super likes your face, probably your bod and most likely your personality too.

NICE.

SCORE.

 

BUT.

I get it.

This day puts on the pressure.

And we’re infatuated with celebrating it just right.

But.

The full-proof plans that’ll win every damn time? Just love the shit out of each other.

Bake a brie.

Or just buy one.

Purchase chocolate.

And just eat it.

Save the innovative, one-of-a-kind gestures…for later…

…that night.

If you know…

…what I mean.

God I'm so single.

God I’m so single.

 

 

3.  A Checkpoint, Memory or Milestone

Happy Anniversary,

EVERYONE.

The funny thing about February is, it’s always, without a doubt, a subconscious nostalgia booster that promotes pondering about where the hell we were a year ago, with whom and just why.

Preach, Corey, PREACH.

Preach, Corey, PREACH.

 

Makes you realize how far you’ve really come. Are going. And will continue to go. Love wise. Friend wise. Candy wise. (checkpoint)

Or.

Makes you think “in the past-y”things that have been purposely suppressed for a while. (memory)

Or.

Gives you that extra incentive to treat that special someone just fuckin right. (milestone)

And with so much emotional buzz over one damn day?

It’s no wonder we cue the wine.

Bottoms up.

Bottoms up.

 

 

4.  A Scandalous Rendezvous

Lingerie. Body chocolate. Role play. Romance novels.

Whether you’re prepping for it or just thinking about it.

I couldn’t think of a better day. Or more infatuating excuse.

To strip down and fricken celebrate.

wqrsgSN

I knew you’d agree.

 

5. The More Lovers, The Merrier

Listen.

It’s a complete misconception that Valentine’s day is meant to for one person and one person only.

throne_of_lies_elf

What Buddy said.

 

Last time I checked? I love a whole hell of a lot of people.

My roommate:

This bitch.

This bitch.

 

My fam:

The best.

Guess what ethnicity we are.

 

My friends:

I swear I have more.

I swear I have more.

 

This guy:

What's not to love?

Duh.

 

And I’m completely smitten with the idea that there’s a designated day I can tell

Them

You

And anyone else that’s been damn good to me that:

It's true.

It’s true.

 

Because we may not be celebrating the same way every year. And we might not be celebrating with the same people.

But.

The fact that we have people in the forefront of our mind that we dig enough, love enough and care enough to celebrate with, reach out to and appreciate at all?

Well.

I fuckin love that.

And I’ll take that feeling any day.

Especially this one.

Happy Valentine’s Day to Olive My People.

Let’s keep this online romance alive.

Love, brioche buns and bottomless bagels,

Olive