Demetri Martin

December 2nd, 2012

“I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the piñata promotes violence against flamboyant animals. Hey, there’s a donkey with some pizzazz. Let’s kick its ass. What I’m trying to say is, don’t make the same Halloween costume mistake that I did.” 

– Demetri Martin

 Now, I forgot to tell you this earlier, but, I happen to like Demetri Martin more than I like most people. And generally speaking, I like just about everyone.

Wait except you, Doug Wagelby.

Just kidding I don’t know who that is. If your name is Doug Wagelby. That was my bad.

Moving on.

If you don’t know who Demetri Martin is, well then you’ve already incorrectly answered question #1 on the “Would you be a worthwhile friend to Olive” survey, but if we’re already friends, well then this just awkward.

Jokesss jokes..

Come backkk come backkk.

Oh you actually came back. Oh. Okay. Hm. Alright well I guess I have to finish this post then.

So basically the other day I was waiting for my friend to wrap up her fitting room sesh at the local urban outfitters and in the meantime decided to entertain myself at the far corner of the store where they sell everyday essentials such as these:










But I must say that my most prime  purchase of them all was this:


Close running with the bike mustache, understandably so.


Now, my friend took a feverishly long time getting her shit together in the dressing room. Most likely checking out her ass (guilty) or taking selfie shots to message out for friends’ approval (also guilty) So in the meantime I spent a lofty session sifting through this very book and in the end found myself so ridiculously entertained by his inner contents (hahahaha) that I decided to make a list of a few of my favorite illustrations found in the very book pictured above.  Regretfully I had to skip over such chapters as:

“Confessions of a White Guy With Dreadlocks”

“A Cappella Group Freak Accidents”

“Pets (A Conversation)”

For this post simply because for blog purposes, the highlighting of illustrations just made the most logistical sense. And because I for sure wasn’t about to type up a spark note version of this book. Who do you think you are? So here you have it. My most recent kudos to Demetri Martin and his illustrative works in case you too, find yourself waiting for your friend to ask you for another size/color/bagel and need alternate forms of entertainment.

My 14 (Current) Favorite Illustrations From Demetri Martin

(P.S. Accept my low-res images and awkward attempt to take picture of a book. This is no one-hand job…)



2. image_4




4. image_6


5. image_7


6. image_8



7. image_1


8. image



This is why I'm never invited to the opening ceremonies.

This is why I’m never invited to the opening ceremonies.



Needless to say, sales were pretty low on this balloon.

Needless to say, sales were pretty low on this balloon.


11. image


12. image-1


13. image-2


14. And for my all-time favorite


And that was my somewhat effort driven attempt at a book review.

Bountiful thanks,

Pinata with pizzaz