June 9th 2014
Due to popular demand, my batshit Craiglist commentary posts are back and stranger than ever. Feel free to pre-game this nonsense with my past archives of
And post game it with this shit right here:
(Reminder: Blue = me. Not blue = not me)
That burrito, jesus. But from where? (Just so we’re clear, we’re not looking for the actual Jesus…just the burrito version. Carry on…)
Barn Kittens: Blood Thirsty Sisters Free to a Good Home (All regular sisters to bad homes)
Good luck, Brohemian Rhapsody.
These little rage cannons (lol) will leave you feeling empty as they neglect you to further their search for prey. (Much like going out for “ladies night” but left in the dust by said friend Tori for the first mandal-wearing bro named Chaz) But if you can respect them and leave well enough alone, the sisters will keep your home rodent free and you’ll love them for it.
Bio: This cat is all business all the time. Of the two, she is easily the most vicious. She was born when the waves of Poseidon crashed upon the last saber tooth tiger. (So around 3 then…) The result – the living embodiment of fear in the eyes of all mouse kind. (I woke up like this)
Color: Russian Blue (Her natural color, I’m guessing)
Bio: The more stealthy of the duo, Lady Espurr prefers clinging to the shadows, (much like a balding guy named Ted circa 2am at the local bar) patiently awaiting the perfect moment to strike. (Ted…is that…you?) Though not quite as vicious as Mew, she is still a trained killer with a heart of ice and a hunger for murder. (Oh never mind, definitely Patrick)
These kittens are not kid friendly.
They don’t like people.
They feel no pain and cannot be reasoned with.
But if you need barn cats to get rid of rats and other such pests, they’re your girls.
Free crappy violin case
So here we are. Did you ever give birth to a lower quality forest green violin case apparently named Ken some 15 years ago or know someone who has? This is where you come in. (I’m baaaaackkk.)