7 Things We Try To Give Up For Lent But Just Like…Can’t

March 7th 2014

Give it up.

No really.

 Do it.

 It’s lent. It’s like a thing.

Thanks for the back up, Walter.

Walter for the religious specification.

 

As for me? I’m not giving up a damn thing. I hate discipline. I’m fuckin terrible at it.

Because quite frankly:

funny-picture-pie-i-do-what-i-want

But you might be. Giving things up, I mean.

 Thing is.

I respect the idea of lent. I do.

You sacrifice shit for 40 days.

Experience promise. Self-control. An intense break up with donuts.

That's the problem, Mindy.

You’re not alone, Mindy.

 

But some of us are straight awful at it.

…And I’m pretty sure I know why.

Olive and Nicole present:

7 Things We Try To Give Up For Lent But Just Like…Can’t

1. Alcohol

lol.

lol.

 

So maybe you’re going on a cleanse. Want to be healthier. Or potentially trying to be more responsible and forget about the times that you were like:

drunk guy 2

And then like:

drunk-guy 3

But mark my damn words.

One semi-interesting invite.

ONE birthday party celebration.

Just ONE instance of a partially convincing a friend who’s all like:

i-need-to-get-my-drink-on

And you bet your bottom dollar I’ll find you cruisin around 30 quick seconds later like:

party gif

And when I get real with you and call you out on your shit. Our conversation will most definitely be like:

you've been drinking gif

Which will basically result in us both being like:

Drunk-dancing-smooth-recovery

Toby. Not okay. Toby.

 

Because:

Lesbihonest_gif_xP

That habit? Isn’t going anywhere soon.

Kind of like this guy.

drunk guy gif

You’re here to stay, Frank.

 

 

2. Being A “Good Person”

skeptical gif

Gross. 

 

Tabitha said it all.

Thanks Tabitha.

Good talk.

Good talk.

 

Listen. You’re a good person. Or at the very least, a decent one.

 BUT DON’T ACT LIKE.

 One too many shots.

 One sassy co-worker comment.

 Or JUST ONE INSTANCE where I eat your whole pizza pie.

With the help of some friends.

I brought friends.

 

That you might not freak the fuck out kind sort of like:

hot potato gif

Yes. Yes you are.

 

Listen. Don’t be a “good person” for 40 days. Be a good person EVERY DAY. Cut the gossip—always. Volunteer—sometimes. And make an effort with your friends and fam regularly because that shit’s NORMAL.

gooddaysir

3. Being Less Lazy

 Listen.

 Does this look fun to you?

funny work out gif

Nope.

 

Does this look fun to you:

Yes.

Yes.

 

Exactly.

4. Cursing less

Don’t be an asshole.

Or at least don’t say it.

 I think you can do this. I really think you can.

 Unless of course someone asks you a really average and mild question and you’re instinctually like:

love-actually-fuck-gif

Word.

 

 

5. Giving Up Sweets/Carbs/Meat

  This is dangerous territory my friend. Where you won’t eat sweets. You’re gonna stack up on carbs.

Yes.

Yes.

 

 

Where you don’t eat carbs you’re gonna go apeshit on some serious chocolate.

Definitely happening.

Definitely happening.

 

 

And where you don’t eat meat you’re gonna go loco on the goddamn two.

You right now.

You for the next 40 days.

 

Kudos to everyone who can withstand the intense disappointment of every group dinner near and far, where everyone ordered cheese fries drizzled in hot fuckin chocolate and sprinkled with extra-crispy bacon—except for you. And when the waiter comes around handing out entrees, he’ll give a plate of heaven to everyone minus:

gretchen weiners gif

Shit well get desperate.

 And shit will get weird.

 So much so that when I give you a ring-a-ling one evening and say I’ve got a foot long (nothing weird) in my hand, and you’ll for sure be like:

fucktopia gif

And alas, I’ll invite you over and feed your worthwhile kryptonite like:

eating

You’re welcome.

 

 

6. Peacing Out of Social Media

GirlBye2

Blonde = Social media. Sparkles = you

 

Never mind the F.O.M.O that goes on with this wildly-brave decision (and for those of you who are unfamiliar with this acronym – Fear. Of. Missing. Out.)

 I’m just simply warning you for the infinite:

 OMG DID YOU SEE THAT PICTURE?!

  HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT STATUS?

 DID YOU GET THAT INVITE TO THAT THING WITH THAT PERSON?

 No. You didn’t. Because apparently

I dont know shit meme

Except that you’re here right now so like.

nice

7. Giving Up This Blog

Lesbihonest_gif_xP

And there you have it. 7 sensical yet seemingly impossible thangs to give up for lent that will very much make you a goddamn champion if you succeed.

 …And if you don’t?

You can just come over here and hang out with me and Toby like:

Party over here.

Party over here.

 

 Like this post and also wondering where Brandon Frasier is? Cool. Me too. Like my page here and lez talk about it. I’ll also send you funny memes. Lots of good things involved. Do it. Do it now.