The 6 People You Witness During The World Cup

June 17th 2014

It’s time to kick some ASS.

And some balls…

…And apparently some people:

Just kickin it.



And speaking of people, here are 6 more categories of characters you’re just going to damn see during this batshit season of celebratory madness:

 6 People You Witness During The World Cup 

1. Epic fans

These festive devotees go all fucking out showcasing their zesty support in a variety of kickass ways. Such as:

Straight bibbing it via national flag:




One upping every basic chant near and far:

One upper.

How did you get past security.


Throwing on a little make up for the occasion:

And just a touchhhh of foundation.

And just a touchhhh of foundation.

Or just simply, being themselves:



2. A Lover’s Quarrel With The Ref

I'm gonna getcha.

“What’s up with that one word text bro.”

"And who is this, Charlie? Hmm?"

“And who is this, Pablo? Hmm?”


His gym shorts bring all the boys to the yard.

It’s not Tito’s fault his gym shorts bring all the boys to the yard.

3. Foul Ballers


Ladies and gentleman: The Nutcracker


Quite the ballsy move, Mandžukić.

Quite the ballsy move, Mandzukic.



Straight to the chest.



4. Racist Assholes 

Thing is. You think your friends are semi-decent human beings.

..Until you flip the fucking channel to the World Cup, feed them a beer, maybe some chips and catch them in the heat of the moment screaming shit at the TV like

why are you white

And Africa’s just like

Screen Shot 2014-06-16 at 11.43.40 PM

5. A Steamy Lineup

Whether you’re a dude or a chick. You can’t deny the instant respect (amongst other things) you feel whenst purposely staring at washboard abs and perfectly chiseled legs running rampant across the field for 90 + minutes:

Yes, Gerard. I am excited you won.

Yes, Gerard. I’m excited too.

So how's about that weather Carlos...

Let’s talk about the weather, Carlos.

Takes balls to the face and we're still into it.

You like balls in your face? Apparently you and the rest of the world suddenly have that in common.

6. Raging Celebrators

In case you you can’t remember who you forgot to put on the invite list for your potluck fest this weekend. It’s probably these guys:




The solo act:

Friends TBD.

Friends TBD.


The pregnant one:




The hugger:

Ask and ye shall receive.

Ask and ye shall receive.


And there you have it. 6 people to notice, respect and potentially avoid…

Just some friendly advice...

Just some friendly advice…


 And in the meantime, game ON.

And of course.

Use protection:

You just never know.

You just never know.