November 28th 2013
Hey it’s me.
And I’m really fricken thankful.
And you should be too.
Yeah for the food
But also for the people.
The great ones.
The obvious ones.
The best ones.
The underrated ones.
What do I mean?
Who are they?
And why are they underrated?
Whoa with the questions!
I’ll tell you in a sec.
Olive and Alex present:
11 Underrated People To Be Thankful For This Thanksgiving
(And Potentially Just In General)
1. Pizza delivery guy
A modern day martyr that plays out people’s dreams DAY AFTER DAY. Spreading worldwide joy (and garlic sauce) one gas tank at a time. Just so we can all be like:
Because let’s be honest. The only 2 bitches we have on speed dial are:
2. The Garbage guy
These tidy badasses do the most underrated job from suburbia and beyond. They clean up your shit without missing a goddamn beat.
Thus warranting this high-five deserving hero to get killer appreciation for his life-saving 9-5.
3. The rents
They may try to keep their cool
And they may not always give you want you want
And they might not always have the best discipline tactics:
But by God to they care.
And make a delicious home cooked meals when we cruise through the goddamn door:
And after months of housing pizza and pre-made pasta sola you’re just like:
4. The Inventor of Nutella
Pietro Ferrero is the MAN.
This effortless life champion did the badass task of joining chocolate and hazelnut in holy matrimony
Thus snowballing nothing but dysfunctional love world fuckin wide. By like:
And reinventing art:
So thanks Pietro, the world would most definitely be an unhappier and skinnier place without you. And who wants that?!
5. Benjamin Franklin
Without this Kite Flying champion, our iPizzles far and wide would be uncharged and non existent as fuck. Never mind the modern day glitches of his badass ways
Because Benny’s one strike of electricity now allows us to announce our woes in more ways than one, furthermore bringing a sense of community from one first world problem to the next.
6. Your best friend
You know them.
And they know you.
And at some point there was some drunk confirmation like:
They’ve got your back.
They like the same things:
They ask the right questions:
And they’re never afraid to put you in your place:
So give them a call today. And shoot them a text. Remind them that they’re the best. And that something weird happened last night
7. Your ex
These temporary throwbacks were once the love of your fucking pants.
It’s like you meet them and you’re like:
But then eventually you just kind of get new pants and flirting just isn’t the damn same:
And shit just doesn’t work out.
Thanks to them you know what you want. And what you don’t want. What you like. And what you don’t damn like.
And in the end you’re either sittin pretty in a new and improved relationship.
Or being all single and awesome like:
So give thanks for the ones who made us learn and made us grow. And then do that thing where you’re all like:
Tis the season.
8. People with an artistic eye…
9. The people who are always looking to protect you
10. People aren’t afraid to make a change in the world
Because why spell “puberty” when you could like…
Because you fucking rock.
And you’re the fucking jam.
Sure maybe you’re not always perfect.
But who really is?
And I like the shit out of that. Just like I like the shit out of you. And everyone else on this list.
So thanks you guys.
For being awesome. And entirely too underrated.
I’ll be sure to do an extra cheers and take extra turkey to the face today, just for you.
Wanna tell me about your holiday shenanigans and passover some leftover pie? Kickass. E-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org