10 Moments When My Friends Defeated Hunger

April 25th 2014

It came completely out of nowhere.

He was sitting in his office.



Consumed in work…

When suddenly.

He reached for a folder. >>>



Inside his desk.

…but when he picked it up.






A raisin.


A yogurt one.

Bless the lord.

Blessed be the day.









…Should he?


He looked to his left.

He looked to his right.

He saw no one.

To which he thought to himself.

winnie the pooh gif


My friend Tanner survived that day.

Hunger, that is. He ate that raisin. With surprise. And glory.



Which reminded me of my other friends.

Who as of recently (if not always).

Also defeated hunger in surprise circumstances.

What moments qualify? And how can you tell?

Well, with one simple consultation session with Ice Cube.

ice cube

Quick question, I.C.



I’m now able to tell you.

Olive and Ice Cube present:

10 Moments When My Friends Defeated Hunger


 1. When my friend Ramzi waited in line for 2 hours. For crabs (take that as you will)—simultaneously defining a new face of content when he succeeded in the end.

Glamour shot.

His emotions = A bit mixed.



2. When my friend Coco was invited to a company picnic that consequently circled right around the lunch hour—the epitome of her starvation pains. She was near black out desperation when suddenly she spotted the pot luck brownies that Beverly brought to the table…and then like

Thanks, Cheryl.

Thanks, Bev.



3. The time my sister and I went to Prague and hiked for 10 hours in the day, only stopping for sporadic sips of water and maybe a donut the size of my head.

Diets going well.

Diets going well.


We began to feel more and more fatigued as the day went on, agreeing to stop for only a light snack, promising we would for sure include some greens with our quick meal. Just for daily nutrition. And just to tide us over until a sufficient dinner later on.


We saw the “chicken shish kebob surprise platter” listed on the menu. And then lost vision and ordered it like:

prague meal


But decided to stay true to our original promise of orderering greens…except that like

Shout out to the side salad.

Shout out to the side salad.



4. The time my cousins and I went to Vegas…and what was supposed to be a night of dancing and light-hearted fun, resulted in wheeling our friends out of the clubs in wheel chairs—leaving us distraught and snackless.



Until a piece of chicken.

Was found in my shoe.

Ball so hard.

Crisis averted.




5. The time my girl Mary was sitting at her desk one day and she was content and she was good. Definitely dreaming of a breakfast sandwich but sticking true to her semi-healthy ways.

But wait.

Gina just walked in.

With donuts.

Fuck yes, Gina. Fuck. Yes.

Fuck yes, Gina. Fuck. Yes.




6. It was February 2013 and my friend Daniel and I were drunk and running rampant about a California campus.

Raging times.

Raging times.


And at the precise the stroke of midnight, we were debaucherous and decided instantaneously to go apeshit in a pantry that just simply wasn’t ours.


The Mac & Cheese.

It was all…



But the Orangina and Chobani?

Available as fuck.

Available as fuck.




7. Tanner was running low on groceries one evening…and feeling particularly unmotivated to pay a visit to the local mart. To cure his hungry endeavors, he rather scrounged together his remaining ingredients. Built a snow man. And texted me this.

Do you wanna build a snowman?

I dig it.



And give him new pesto buttons?


Look at you. And your pesto buttons.

Look at you and your pesto buttons.



 And then afterwards…

My bad.





8. The time my friend Renee was cruising about town. Needed to grab some food between one rehearsal and the next. Spotted a local joint that she had yet to try noticing”Ghetto punch” as the prime star on their menu. What was the name of the restaurant and how did I find out?


Ghetto punch, awaits.

Ghetto punch bound.



9. Just a straight up time once when I was just thinking I could go for a beverage of some sort and then my dude Lionel Richie was just like


I mean. Yeah.



10. The time my friend Nicole Detamble had just moved to the city and was contemplating various ways to save up money for groceries and shit when she received a rogue text message that answered all her prayers like






And there you have it. 10 super star instances in which my batshit friends beat their daily epidemic of hunger.

Snack on, my friends. Because quite frankly, you should always