February 24th 2014
“He just turned around and said it to me…and that’s when I realized.”
“Said what? Realized what?”
“That what he said was so bizarre. Like it made sense…But shit was so weird.”
“Tanner, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“This guy I know was telling me about his friend’s baby and I asked him if the baby was cute and he said ‘Oh yeah, so cute! So cute I could just eat him right up!”
“That’s normal. People say that all the time.”
“No I know but that’s the point. There’s a lot of weird ass sayings out there that we say all the time and don’t even realize how fucking weird it is until people like me get all awkward and point it out.”
11 Common Phrases That Would Be Terrifying If Meant Literally
1. Your baby is so cute I could just eat him right up!
2. I’d love to take you out sometime
3. You are what you eat
4. That cost me an arm and a leg!
5. Don’t have a cow
6. Don’t shit where you eat
10. Let’s blow this popsicle stand!
(cue in the back up plan)
11. My eyes are bigger than my stomach!
And there you have it. 11 common sayings that for no reason will make you feel weird about from this day forth. So happy daily conversing! And kwanzaa. And pie day. And also Tuesday. Potentially high five day. And if that’s the case: